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Dan Bern — Jerusalem
Album: Dan Bern
Avg rating:
4.5

Your rating:
Total ratings: 140









Released: 1997
Length: 3:40
Plays (last 30 days): 0
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When I tell you that I love you
Don't test my love
Accept my love
Don't test my love
'Cause maybe I don't love you all that much

Don't ask what kind of music I'm gonna play tonight
Just stay awhile
Hear for yourself awhile

And if you must put me in a box
Make sure it's a big box
With lots of windows
And a door to walk through
And a nice high chimney

So we can burn, burn, burn
Everything that we don't like
And watch the ashes
Fly up to Heaven
Maybe all the way to India
I'd like that

All the ancient kings came to my door
They said, ''"Do you want to be an ancient king too?"''
I said, ''"Oh yes, very much
But I think my timing's wrong"''
They said, ''"Time is relative,
Or did you misread Einstien?"''
I said, ''"Do you really mean it?"''
They said, ''"What do you think we come here for
Our goddamn health or something?"''

Everybody's waiting for the messiah
The Jews are waiting
Christians are waiting
Also the Muslims
It's like everybody's waiting
They've been waiting a long time
I know how I hate to wait
Like even for a bus or something
An important phone call
So I can imagine
How darned impatient
Everybody must be getting

So I think it's time now
Time to reveal myself
I am the Messiah
I am the Messiah

Yes, I think you heard me right
I am the Messiah
I was gonna wait till next year
Build up the suspense a little
Make it a really big surprise
But I could not resist

It's like when you got a really big secret
And you're just bursting to tell someone
It was sorta like that with this
And now that I've told you
I feel this great weight lifted
Dr. Nusbaum was right
He's my therapist
He said get it out in the open

I spent ten whole days in Jerusalem
Mmm, Jerusalem
Sweet Jerusalem

And all I ate was olives
Nothing but olives
Mountains of olives
It was a good ten days
I like olives
I like you too

So when I tell you that I love you
Don't test my love
Accept my love
Don't test my love
'Cause maybe I don't love you all that much
Comments (51)add comment

https://www.salon.com/2015/10/07/bob_dylan_called_me_a_scurrilous_little_wretch_with_a_hard_on_for_comedy/

 


Posted 9 years ago by Jack_Jefferson    [ Reply ]
{#Roflol}
Posted 11 years ago by MsJudi    [ Reply ]
acon234 wrote:
And who did that album cover art? I think I have better stuff hanging on my fridge that my three-year-old godson did.
Actually, Dan Bern did the cover art. Check your fridge - there might be something there of his too.
Posted 17 years ago by baboo    [ Reply ]
Comparable to rubbing one's scrotum with a rusty fork.
Posted 18 years ago by deanofox    [ Reply ]
And who did that album cover art? I think I have better stuff hanging on my fridge that my three-year-old godson did.
Posted 18 years ago by acon234    [ Reply ]
Oh my-lanta!!! That is quite possibly the worst song I have ever heard in my life.
Posted 18 years ago by acon234    [ Reply ]
Althea wrote:
thank goodness it finally stopped! please NEVER play again!
Amen.
Posted 18 years ago by mattsommer    [ Reply ]
thank goodness it finally stopped! please NEVER play again!
Posted 18 years ago by Althea    [ Reply ]
Thought it was 'alright' at the beginning, sort of a Dylan wannabe ... but then he started in about the 'olives' and lost me completely.
Posted 18 years ago by elvenwise    [ Reply ]
I have loved this song for years. What a great surprise to hear it on the radio, even this radio!
Posted 18 years ago by helene    [ Reply ]
Annoying voice, insipid lyrics.
Posted 18 years ago by Zweiblumen    [ Reply ]
calling this guy a dylan clone is giving him too much credit. dylan wannabe maybe, but certainly not a clone.
Posted 18 years ago by daveesh    [ Reply ]
Blech, ick, make it stop!
Posted 18 years ago by dustymc    [ Reply ]
Totally didn't expect to hear Dan Bern on RP, but then again, I probably should have. Thanks for making my Monday. P.S. - I like olives.
Posted 18 years ago by d-mac    [ Reply ]
I'm rating this a ten just to piss off EVERYONE.
Posted 18 years ago by stinkycheese    [ Reply ]
I kinda liked this song, but then it got annoying, truly annoying, and what's that crap about olives, how is that relevant, and those disjointed phrases, that are nonsensical, it's all so repetitive, now I'm really annoyed, when will he shut up...
Posted 19 years ago by rockasaurus    [ Reply ]
This guy is brilliant, he's awesome live. Lot of really good work - though it helps to take him in small doses. Another song that I like, in a once a month sorta way, is God Said No from New American Language.
Posted 19 years ago by elphmorgan    [ Reply ]
Posted 19 years ago by epicurian    [ Reply ]
ROFLMAO
Posted 19 years ago by MsJudi    [ Reply ]
Great Set too - Jerusalem, U B Jesus, Israelites - clever... Dan Bern is awesome - been listening to him for years - got over the Bob Dylan thing ages ago - once you see him live you know he's definitely not 'trying too hard'. I'd certainly like to hear more of his stuff played. Jerusalem was one of his earliest releases...
Posted 20 years ago by malicious    [ Reply ]
not so much. i think we should add a "not so much" rating. i seem to be saying it a lot these days.
Posted 20 years ago by PattonFever    [ Reply ]
I really like olives too, and I like this song...but only once. If you play it again, I break-ah you face!
Posted 20 years ago by cataloger    [ Reply ]
I don't particularly care for olives, or this song. the Jake don't care for this one.
Posted 20 years ago by the_jake    [ Reply ]
Ick.
Posted 20 years ago by Gregorama    [ Reply ]
damn, shut the fuck up.
Posted 20 years ago by downbylaw    [ Reply ]
Y'know, this sorta works for me. If Alanis Morrissette and They Might Be Giants had a 3-way, this is what would pop out (a month early).
Posted 20 years ago by Illustr8r    [ Reply ]
This is the kind of person who would refer to himself as "quirky." Blech.
Posted 20 years ago by spoko    [ Reply ]
mnuisance wrote:
Not the best tune from Dan Bern. Try "Tiger Woods" or some other stuff from "Fifty Eggs". He's good.
He is, he really is! Listen to mnuisance, and try his other stuff. Give him more of a chance...he's an accomplished guitarist and quality lyricist and can really put on a helluva show all by himself, when his band's not touring. He's not trying to sound like Bob D--Springsteen is more his mentor. Yay. Dan B made it to Radio Paradise. Now, if we could only get JOHN WESLEY HARDING, dammit!!
Posted 20 years ago by Alexandra    [ Reply ]
This is like Tenacious D's one-note song, except that it has, like, four notes. (that was not a compliment)
Posted 20 years ago by MysticMilt    [ Reply ]
Maybe he figured that people would hav liked Dylan more if they could understand him more easily. Like the ESL version of Dylan. But I agree, I think he is trying too hard.
Posted 20 years ago by JPed    [ Reply ]
Did this guy think no one has ever heard Bob Dylan? He sounds like he's trying much too hard.
Posted 20 years ago by funkaholic    [ Reply ]
Thought this was Wierd Al for a minute, parodying an earnest folk singer. Please, please tell me this wasn't supposed to be taken seriously!
Posted 20 years ago by Lazy8    [ Reply ]
He sounds like the lead singer from the Rugburns.
Posted 20 years ago by merfster    [ Reply ]
Can't stop laughing.....
Posted 20 years ago by mig7    [ Reply ]
Ughhh,for the love of his holiness in Jerusalem,just make it stop!!!
Posted 20 years ago by hideglue    [ Reply ]
I LIKE OLIVES TOO!
Posted 20 years ago by LuckyBastard    [ Reply ]
This sounds like it was written and recorded by a third grader. Can't RP come up with something better than this crap?
Posted 20 years ago by ndanger666    [ Reply ]
Scary. Vocals sounds like ah...that one from the Indigo Girls...never could keep their voices/names straight.
Posted 20 years ago by scottc    [ Reply ]
Not the best tune from Dan Bern. Try "Tiger Woods" or some other stuff from "Fifty Eggs". He's good.
Posted 20 years ago by mnuisance    [ Reply ]
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Posted 20 years ago by sharkartist    [ Reply ]
Posted 20 years ago by solecist77    [ Reply ]
So intense and articulate that I can overlook the voice reminiscent of Dylan's misfortune. Another for my short list of artists with a special "manic" insight and humour.
Posted 20 years ago by philarktos    [ Reply ]
What the hell was that? Someone tuned my radio to 95-point-suck. I'm not usually this critical, but that was awful. Maybe it'll go down better next time. Maybe not.
Posted 20 years ago by OmegaConcern    [ Reply ]
There is a local radio station that plays this guy quite a bit. I think it's allright , and he makes me laugh, but a little bit goes a looooong way.
Posted 20 years ago by ScottyB    [ Reply ]
LOL this song kills me. Bill, please play "King of the World" from the same album. (--Radio_Man--)
Posted 20 years ago by Radio_Man    [ Reply ]
That, was painful.
Posted 20 years ago by dhostetler    [ Reply ]
I really, really liked this - please play more from this guy!
Posted 20 years ago by gypsy222    [ Reply ]
Clone of Bob Dylan? I thought there was a ban on human cloning? And if there isn't then this song is reason enough!
Posted 20 years ago by ChicoCyclist    [ Reply ]
Dan Bern is an excellent addition to the rotation around here. "New American Language" is a great album, and well worth the investment. Good work everyone!
Posted 20 years ago by Zeke19    [ Reply ]
I didn't know Dylan and Springsteen had a kid brother. There's hope, then!
Posted 20 years ago by GaryG    [ Reply ]
Wow. Bob Dylan's been reincarnated. I didn't even know he was dead!
Posted 20 years ago by lennier    [ Reply ]