John Prine — Illegal Smile
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Length: 3:10
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When I woke up this morning, things were lookin' bad
Seem like total silence was the only friend I had
Bowl of oatmeal tried to stare me down and won
And it was twelve o'clock before I realized
That I was havin' no fun
But fortunately I have the key to escape reality
And you may see me tonight with an illegal smile
It don't cost very much, but it lasts a long while
Won't you please tell the man I didn't kill anyone
No I'm just tryin' to have me some fun
Well,last time I checked my bankroll, it was gettin' thin
Sometimes it seems like the bottom is the only place I've been
I chased a rainbow down a one-way street, dead end
And all my friends turned out to be insurance salesmen
But fortunately I have the key to escape reality
And you may see me tonight with an illegal smile
It don't cost very much, but it lasts a long while
Won't you please tell the man I didn't kill anyone
No, I'm just tryin' to have me some fun
Well I sat down in my closet with all my overalls
Tryin' to get away from all the ears inside my walls
Dreamed the police heard every thing I thought. What then?
Well, I went to court and the judge's name was Hoffman.
But fortunately I have the key to escape reality
And you may see me tonight with an illegal smile
It don't cost very much, but it lasts a long while
Won't you please tell the man I didn't kill anyone
No I'm just tryin' to have me some fun
Well Done
Hot Dog Bun
My sister's a nun
Seem like total silence was the only friend I had
Bowl of oatmeal tried to stare me down and won
And it was twelve o'clock before I realized
That I was havin' no fun
But fortunately I have the key to escape reality
And you may see me tonight with an illegal smile
It don't cost very much, but it lasts a long while
Won't you please tell the man I didn't kill anyone
No I'm just tryin' to have me some fun
Well,last time I checked my bankroll, it was gettin' thin
Sometimes it seems like the bottom is the only place I've been
I chased a rainbow down a one-way street, dead end
And all my friends turned out to be insurance salesmen
But fortunately I have the key to escape reality
And you may see me tonight with an illegal smile
It don't cost very much, but it lasts a long while
Won't you please tell the man I didn't kill anyone
No, I'm just tryin' to have me some fun
Well I sat down in my closet with all my overalls
Tryin' to get away from all the ears inside my walls
Dreamed the police heard every thing I thought. What then?
Well, I went to court and the judge's name was Hoffman.
But fortunately I have the key to escape reality
And you may see me tonight with an illegal smile
It don't cost very much, but it lasts a long while
Won't you please tell the man I didn't kill anyone
No I'm just tryin' to have me some fun
Well Done
Hot Dog Bun
My sister's a nun
Comments (103)add comment
Highlowsel wrote:
I couldn't agree more. And so it goes.
This little ditty was my introduction to the mad-cap mind that was Sir John of the Prine clan. I can't tell you the number of times this tune would run thru my head in the morning after stare-down of that bowl of oatmeal.
Many a fine contest won by that bowl over the protestations of my stomach. The things we do to ourselves sometimes...especially when young, eh?
All part of living, learning, loving and growing I suppose. So it goes.
Highlow
American Net'Zen
I couldn't agree more. And so it goes.
Radio listeners in Connecticut in the 70s will remember this as the sign-off song for Stoneman on WPLR, every weeknight at 10pm!
On this song which was a favourite of my best friend Marc Claude Sauvé sadly dead many years now. I think of you often.
murrayn wrote:
Since when does Bill have to justify what he says to you?
Um, Bill, who exactly are some of the many other voices lost to covid 19? I'm ok with the song, your intro leaves a lot to be desired.
Since when does Bill have to justify what he says to you?
Classic pothead song. Twas illegal then. Now endemic. Third biggest cash crop in Washington state. I know I did my part. Thank you, John, for yours.
murrayn wrote:
Um, Dave Greenfield of the Stranglers for one. This could go on a while...
try this for size:
https://www.billboard.com/phot...
Um, Bill, who exactly are some of the many other voices lost to covid 19? I'm ok with the song, your intro leaves a lot to be desired.
Um, Dave Greenfield of the Stranglers for one. This could go on a while...
try this for size:
https://www.billboard.com/phot...
RP needs more JP
Um, Bill, who exactly are some of the many other voices lost to covid 19? I'm ok with the song, your intro leaves a lot to be desired.
I met my now-husband in Sept 1991 and in November '91 we left on what I joked was our "second date" and drove from Toronto, Ontario through the US, Mexico, Guatemala, back up the left coast through LA and back to Toronto in a '78 Jeep Cherokee. Slept either in our tent of the back of the Jeep. It had no stereo system at all but we had a small cassette player and a box of my guy's cassettes. I'd never heard John Prine before but 2 or 3 of those cassettes were him and we listened to them over and over again ...in a way that let's you really feel and explore the lyrics. Years later, after 25 yrs of marriage, John Prine was playing at Massey Hall (itself a landmark) in Toronto on hubby's birthday and I bought us tickets. What music and what memories -- so deeply grateful we got to see him live. His songs live deep within me now.
This is Frank Gallagher’s theme song from shameless
How is this a 6.7? This is one of the greatest American songwriter/singers!
myriad wrote:
Miss him much....
RIP John.
Miss him much....
RIP John.
"Bowl of oatmeal tried to stare me down and won..."
Been there.
Done that.
Solidarity.
Been there.
Done that.
Solidarity.
I used to play this with Marty at our residence's No Talent Nights. Great memories.
This little ditty was my introduction to the mad-cap mind that was Sir John of the Prine clan. I can't tell you the number of times this tune would run thru my head in the morning after stare-down of that bowl of oatmeal.
Many a fine contest won by that bowl over the protestations of my stomach. The things we do to ourselves sometimes...especially when young, eh?
All part of living, learning, loving and growing I suppose. So it goes.
Highlow
American Net'Zen
Many a fine contest won by that bowl over the protestations of my stomach. The things we do to ourselves sometimes...especially when young, eh?
All part of living, learning, loving and growing I suppose. So it goes.
Highlow
American Net'Zen
westslope wrote:
R.I.P. John
When this first came out, I used to play it obsessively.
John Prine is probably one of the most under-recognized American songwriter-singers I can think of. Very much a national treasure.
John Prine is probably one of the most under-recognized American songwriter-singers I can think of. Very much a national treasure.
R.I.P. John Duc1098 wrote:
But for those of us who were fortunate enough to hear him, see him = LOVE HIM! I think there's quite a few of us, acutally.
But for those of us who were fortunate enough to hear him, see him = LOVE HIM! I think there's quite a few of us, acutally.
♥️😟 RIP. Hard times.
Requiescat in pace
brilliant
Thanks Bill.
We might not have the Star Trek transporter but at least I have you to send me back from time to time.
Well done, hot dog bun.
We might not have the Star Trek transporter but at least I have you to send me back from time to time.
Well done, hot dog bun.
LOVE JOHN PRINE!
"Judge" Hoffman
"Judge" Hoffman
I thought this was Country Free station? ....PSD time.
Giselle62 wrote:
Wait a minute, you were born in 1962 and your parents were hippies? I was also born in '62 and my older siblings were hippies (went to Woodstock, etc.). My parents were from the Depression/WWII era - far from being hippies. Anyhow, I know who Judge Hoffman was. Brilliant song by the way.
my parents were hippies and i've studied the sixties do YOU get the "Hoffman" joke any of you young un's?
Wait a minute, you were born in 1962 and your parents were hippies? I was also born in '62 and my older siblings were hippies (went to Woodstock, etc.). My parents were from the Depression/WWII era - far from being hippies. Anyhow, I know who Judge Hoffman was. Brilliant song by the way.
Yay!
Indeed, he never got the recognition he deserved. A brilliant singer song-wrighter who ought to be a legend.
westslope wrote:
Missed the spin as I was busy elsewhere.
When this first came out, I used to play it obsessively.
John Prine is probably one of the most under-recognized American songwriter-singers I can think of. Very much a national treasure.
Great way to start out a week in Kuwait! Got me smiling! Thanks.
Superb. John Prine has the greatest lyrics and a great voice
This song in particular rocks
This song in particular rocks
GeorgeMWoods wrote:
Missed the spin as I was busy elsewhere.
When this first came out, I used to play it obsessively.
John Prine is probably one of the most under-recognized American songwriter-singers I can think of. Very much a national treasure.
John Prine. An American treasure.
Missed the spin as I was busy elsewhere.
When this first came out, I used to play it obsessively.
John Prine is probably one of the most under-recognized American songwriter-singers I can think of. Very much a national treasure.
Haven't heard this song in a long time! Made me smile
on a dreary day.
on a dreary day.My college roommate played John Prine constantly and I hated it. Blue Oyster Cult was more my style. What the hell did I know? Now I like both.
no doubt a great album
then his next one "Diamonds In The Rough"
pulled the rug out from everyone
and sealed it for me, he's great
then his next one "Diamonds In The Rough"
pulled the rug out from everyone
and sealed it for me, he's great
Giselle62 wrote:
Why yes, I got it. Julius, wasn't he the one?
my parents were hippies and i've studied the sixties do YOU get the "Hoffman" joke any of you young un's?
Why yes, I got it. Julius, wasn't he the one?
Still gives me a smile even though I live in the Insurance capitol of the US...
John Prine. An American treasure.
God, yes.
My opinion of RP is already ridiculously high. But with every John Prine played, it goes up again. Thanks, Bill!!
Boulder Colorado! Flagstaff Mountain memories.
As an outsider to texas i prefer bob dylan in any case
Ha. "Bowl of oatmeal tried to stare me down and won." That's about the best summary line of the "day after" I've ever heard. John Prine, Randy Newman...both were classics in the day....still are....
Yay!!!! COLORADO!!!
ðâšone of the best song writers off all time! Great stuff!
Just saw him in concert here. Great to see him still rockin along with the same great sense of humor!
indeed........
Neil66 wrote:
Well, like myself, he's from Illinois, so...
I guess you have to be from Texasiana or similar to appreciate this...
Well, like myself, he's from Illinois, so...
If you only listen to this song once every ten years, the novelty doesn't wear off.
Wow! Like a comfortable slipper, just gets better every time you have it on. Er, uh, if I can just remember where I left it...
Go John Go!
Go John Go!
This is the worst thing I have ever enjoyed listening to.
Blast from the Past. Stoneman, RIP
true story
Neil66 wrote:
Neil66 wrote:
I guess you have to be from Texasiana or similar to appreciate this...
ATX = home of the JP lovers. This is a fun set :D makes me wish it was later in the day
Not quite the "new Bob Dylan" as I think Johnny Cash once said (or whoever—wasn't that on one of his album covers?), but some great contributions, nonetheless! Brings me back to being a lily-white Minnesota kid pulling crab traps off the southwest coast of Florida in the mid-seventies...
Had an old Boulder mate named Jeff J (now lives in GOP-Land down in the Springs; oh! the irony...) who used to play this about once a week in the early and mid-'80s...FUN!
my parents were hippies and i've studied the sixties do YOU get the "Hoffman" joke any of you young un's?
I guess you have to be from Texasiana or similar to appreciate this...
this guy is a treasure —-has some great songs.
One of my all-time favorites.
I love this song!
Not so much I think if you listen to the lyrics. Afterall, you've rated Neil Young a whole bunch of 10's, so it can't be the voice 
d00kie wrote:
d00kie wrote:way too hicky 
fungus6507 wrote:
Oh yeah!
"Would you please tell the man I didn't kill anyone. I just want to have me some fun."
Sorry but i put the sound off
No way ... Way too simple for most people to understand. Classic Prine. Classic Folk / Country; when the distinction line used to blur between these two genres. All things change but this classic song is timeless ... a solid 8.
way too hicky
...oh, i get it now!..
*smacks forehead*
Saw JP, late 80s, was working my way through school bartending. Didn't have a clue who this guy was, but since he sold out within the day I made sure I was scheduled for that night. As has been said here before, it wasn't the songs I remember most, it was the atmosphere. Outstanding. Been a fan ever since.
rKokon wrote:
. . . another is a star at NPR . . .
You're killing me . . . who is it? Enquiring minds need to know!!
Always great to hear John Prine on RP. Got tickets to see him in Baltimore this weekend.
Bumped from an 8 to a 9! 
In the 1970's New Haven WPLR Stoneman used to end his show with Illegal Smile.
Thank you, Bill, for bringing back the old days . . . There was that brief period amidst the serious political engagement of young people in which some amusing folk-rock songs became quite successful.
My radio-station friends used to always sing along with this at the top of their lungs, as I recall. One of those guys died young; another is a star at NPR; others bought their own radio station; others just stayed rock-music fans; still others branched out into CCM and others got into folk roots music. I myself still hope to start another a capella quartet. I make that resolution every year. But singers who don't live far away are hard to find.
Why don't you follow this up with "Alice's Restaurant" and then with a few other funny ones I don't know?
prickelpit96 wrote:
... 
I forgot colt & horse... 
Here, they are...
...
of all his songs I hate this the most...actually it is really the only one I hate
membeth wrote:
John Prine is one of the best live musicians I've ever seen. If you ever get the chance to hear him, he is WAY better in concert than on his CDs. And I agree that his post-cancer voice is even better than he used to be.
You are so right!
So nice to hear some early John Prine music. Please Do, play more real soon.
Thanks Bill
Please see the photo I just posted in the Photos You have Taken of Yourself for an example of this.
John Prine is one of the best live musicians I've ever seen. If you ever get the chance to hear him, he is WAY better in concert than on his CDs. And I agree that his post-cancer voice is even better than he used to be.
I forgot colt & horse...
Saw JP a couple of months ago here in Austin. Good show. His voice is deeper and rougher since the cancer, but he's still really delightful in concert.
oufason wrote:
I am amazed this is the first time this has been played. I have been a huge Prine fan since the first time I dropped a needle on this record.
no wonder...i've been out of rp touch for a few months but thought that this was one of the first few plays...too bad, mr. prine is a legend.
Great song...first heard it only about 6 months ago; I guess I am young. Keep up the great work Bill
sutcliff wrote:
Bill is angry. I am too. . .
Haha
Umm. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ,oh yeah. This is great live,the audience really gets into it,you know,the song. Cause it's a song man and it's cool,OK?
Bill is angry. I am too...
One of my favorites many years ago.
strick wrote:
Hey, John... Easy now- I'm an insurance agent!!!! 
sorry, but i laughed out loud at that line.
..my sister's a nun..
Thanks RP! Love me some John Prine.
Hey, John... Easy now- I'm an insurance agent!!!!
oufason wrote:
I am amazed this is the first time this has been played. I have been a huge Prine fan since the first time I dropped a needle on this record.
Me 2.
Is it legal ...or illegal? ...I'm just trying to have me some fun ...well done ...hot dog bun ...Attila the Hun! ...yer sister's a Nun!I am amazed this is the first time this has been played. I have been a huge Prine fan since the first time I dropped a needle on this record.
Only users lose drugs.
sing along...EVERY BODY 
what a blast from the past...
sure, his voice is twangy, but that's part of the charm of this classic
Great song, great lyrics, annoying voice. Solid 5.
Nothing by John Prine rates less than a 10, for lyrical content alone.
Woo Hoo....I've been waiting for this song to come around! This speaks volumes....love it.....Way to go RP!!
I met my now-husband in Sept 1991 and in November '91 we left on what I joked was our "second date" and drove from Toronto, Ontario through the US, Mexico, Guatemala, back up the left coast through LA and back to Toronto in a '78 Jeep Cherokee. Slept either in our tent of the back of the Jeep. It had no stereo system at all but we had a small cassette player and a box of my guy's cassettes. I'd never heard John Prine before but 2 or 3 of those cassettes were him and we listened to them over and over again ...in a way that let's you really feel and explore the lyrics. Years later, after 25 yrs of marriage, John Prine was playing at Massey Hall (itself a landmark) in Toronto on hubby's birthday and I bought us tickets. What music and what memories -- so deeply grateful we got to see him live. His songs live deep within me now.
Great reminiscence. Thank you!