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My name is Linda Parker, and I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his diploma on the wall â and it showed his full name.
Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with that same name from my high school class 40-something years ago. Could this be the same guy I had a secret crush on back then?
When he walked in, I immediately dismissed the thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face looked WAY too old to have been my classmate.
After he examined my teeth, I asked, âDid you happen to attend Riverside High School?â
âYes, yes, I did! Iâm a Panther!â he said proudly.
âWhen did you graduate?â I asked.
â1959. Why do you ask?â
âYou were in my class!â I exclaimed.
He stared at me closely⦠then that old, bald, wrinkled, gray, decrepit son-of-a-gun said:
âWhat did YOU teach?â
My name is Linda Parker, and I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his diploma on the wall â and it showed his full name.
Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with that same name from my high school class 40-something years ago. Could this be the same guy I had a secret crush on back then?
When he walked in, I immediately dismissed the thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face looked WAY too old to have been my classmate.
After he examined my teeth, I asked, âDid you happen to attend Riverside High School?â
âYes, yes, I did! Iâm a Panther!â he said proudly.
âWhen did you graduate?â I asked.
â1959. Why do you ask?â
âYou were in my class!â I exclaimed.
He stared at me closely⦠then that old, bald, wrinkled, gray, decrepit son-of-a-gun said:
âWhat did YOU teach?â
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird.
We had plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. Iâd been shopping with my friends all day and figured he was upset I was running a bit late â but he didnât say a word about it.
The conversation was flat so I suggested we go somewhere quiet to talk. He agreed⦠but still said very little.
I asked him what was wrong.
He said, âNothing.â
I asked if it was my fault.
He said, âNo, donât worry about it.â
On the way home, I told him I loved him. He smiled slightly and just kept driving. When we got home, he sat and watched TV silently. I felt like Iâd lost him. He seemed so far away.
Eventually, I went to bed, feeling broken.
About 15 minutes later, he came in and fell asleep right away.
I lay there crying, convinced his thoughts were with someone else.
My life felt like a disaster.
His diary: âA two-foot putt! Who the hell misses a two-foot putt?!â
I took my dad to the mall yesterday to buy him some new shoes (he is 92).
We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager next to him.
The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange and blue.
My dad keep staring at him.
The teenager would look at him and find him staring every time.
When the teenager had had enough, he sarcastically asked, "What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?"
Knowing my dad, I quickly swallowed my food so I wouldn't choke on his response, knowing he would have a good one. And in classic style, he did not bat an eye in his response.
"Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was wondering if you were my son."
You need to get your dad to Hollywood pronto so he start writing for standup comics and sit-coms.
I took my dad to the mall yesterday to buy him some new shoes (he is 92).
We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager next to him.
The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange and blue.
My dad keep staring at him.
The teenager would look at him and find him staring every time.
When the teenager had had enough, he sarcastically asked, "What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?"
Knowing my dad, I quickly swallowed my food so I wouldn't choke on his response, knowing he would have a good one. And in classic style, he did not bat an eye in his response.
"Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was wondering if you were my son."
I took my dad to the mall yesterday to buy him some new shoes (he is 92).
We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager next to him.
The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange and blue.
My dad keep staring at him.
The teenager would look at him and find him staring every time.
When the teenager had had enough, he sarcastically asked, "What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?"
Knowing my dad, I quickly swallowed my food so I wouldn't choke on his response, knowing he would have a good one. And in classic style, he did not bat an eye in his response.
"Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was wondering if you were my son."
Location: Really deep in the heart of South California Gender:
Posted:
Mar 16, 2025 - 7:18pm
I took my dad to the mall yesterday to buy him some new shoes (he is 92).
We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager next to him.
The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange and blue.
My dad keep staring at him.
The teenager would look at him and find him staring every time.
When the teenager had had enough, he sarcastically asked, "What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?"
Knowing my dad, I quickly swallowed my food so I wouldn't choke on his response, knowing he would have a good one. And in classic style, he did not bat an eye in his response.
"Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was wondering if you were my son."
Location: No longer in a hovel in effluent Damnville, VA Gender:
Posted:
Sep 18, 2023 - 2:21pm
The IRS suspected a fishing boat owner wasn't paying proper wages to his deckhand and sent an agent to investigate him.
IRS AUDITOR: "I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them."
BOAT OWNER: "Well, there's Clarence, my deck hand, he's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $1,000 a week plus free room and board. Then there's the mentally challenged guy. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of Bacardi rum and a dozen beers every Saturday night so he can cope with life. He also gets to sleep with my wife occasionally."
IRS AUDITOR: "That's The guy I'm here to talk to, the mentally challenged one."
BOAT OWNER: "That would be me. What would you like to know?"
Location: At the dude ranch / above the sea Gender:
Posted:
Jul 31, 2023 - 6:23pm
thisbody wrote:
After numerous rounds of, âWe donât know if Osama is still alive,â Osama himself decided to send Ted Kennedy a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game. Kennedy opened the letter which appeared to contain a single line of coded message, 370HSSV-0773H. Kennedy was baffled, so he e-mailed it to John Kerry. Kerry and his aides had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI. Noone could solve it at the FBI, so it went to the CIA, then to the NSA. With no clue as to its meaning, the FBI finally asked Marine Corps Intelligence for help. Within a few seconds the Marine Corps cabled back with this reply, âTell Kennedy heâs holding the message upside down.â
After numerous rounds of, âWe donât know if Osama is still alive,â Osama himself decided to send Ted Kennedy a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game. Kennedy opened the letter which appeared to contain a single line of coded message, 370HSSV-0773H. Kennedy was baffled, so he e-mailed it to John Kerry. Kerry and his aides had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI. Noone could solve it at the FBI, so it went to the CIA, then to the NSA. With no clue as to its meaning, the FBI finally asked Marine Corps Intelligence for help. Within a few seconds the Marine Corps cabled back with this reply, âTell Kennedy heâs holding the message upside down.â
My wife called out from the bedroom asking, "Do you ever get a shooting pain across your body, like someone has a voodoo doll of you and is stabbing at it?"
I replied, No."
After a short pause she then asked, "How about now?"
