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The Beat Farmers — California Kid
Album: Tales Of The New West
Avg rating:
5

Your rating:
Total ratings: 283









Released: 1985
Length: 2:35
Plays (last 30 days): 0
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I rode into town on a crippled horse
Got fired from a cattle drive up north
The ropes of the gallows were swingin' in the breeze
All the Wanted Posters had pictures of me

I got my Colt Forty Five, right by my side
I'm the California Kid, I hope you're quite prepared to die

Tied what was left of my horse to a hitch
Walked into a saloon, they called the 'Busted Bitch'
I ordered up a whiskey, they asked me for my bread
I paid him two bits, then I pumped him full of lead

I got my Colt Forty Five, right by my side
I'm the California Kid, I hope you're quite prepared to die

A lady of the evening was eyeballing me
Staring down from the balcony
She walked up to me with gun powder breath
The ace of hearts was bleeding from her hip
I dragged her upstairs by her lower lip

I got my Colt Forty Five, right by my side
I'm the California Kid, I hope you're quite prepared to die

She undid my boots, she untied my jeans
She untied my tubes I had tied in my teens
'bout that time the front door was kicked in
and there stood some scumball all covered in sin
he said "that's my woman" I said "that's no lie"
I blew a hole in him just as big as the sky

I got my Colt Forty Five, right by my side
I'm the California Kid, I hope you're quite prepared to die
I'm the California Kid, I hope you're quite prepared to die
Comments (97)add comment
Nothing worse than gunpowder breath. 😅
Posted 3 years ago by theralph    [ Reply ]
Love the songs
Posted 9 years ago by Dorothyhancock    [ Reply ]
Horrible ... PSD
Posted 11 years ago by Stylist    [ Reply ]
You didnt have to be there but if you were its a 10!
Posted 11 years ago by BuddhaTrader    [ Reply ]
This put a great big smile on my face! Go Country Dick! {#Jump}
Posted 11 years ago by dirtbagpook    [ Reply ]
I was gonna rate this 7, but bumped it up to compensate for all those folks with a maddening narrow perspective of what good music is allowed to be.
Posted 12 years ago by MrRedwood    [ Reply ]
 Oscar_the_Grouch wrote:
To open your little mind to the wider world of music you may never have heard before and wouldn't ordinarily hear, thus breaking you out of your well padded comfort zone. Are you sure you're in the right place?
 
Bump. Grouch speak truth.

It's goofy, it's funny. I like it.
Posted 12 years ago by cc_rider    [ Reply ]
Cowpunk and thrilling tales of yesteryear.
Posted 12 years ago by WonderLizard    [ Reply ]
Insert optional verse now:

Well, we rolled up Interstate 44 
Like a rocket sled on rails. 
We tore up all of our swindle sheets, 
And left 'em settin' on the scales. 
By the time we hit that Shy-town, 
Them bears was a-gettin' smart: 
They'd brought up some reinforcements 
From the Illinois National Guard. 
There's armored cars, and tanks, and jeeps, 
And rigs of ev'ry size. 
Yeah, them chicken coops was full'a bears 
And choppers filled the skies. 
Well, we shot the line and we went for broke 
With a thousand screamin' trucks 
An' eleven long-haired Friends a' Jesus 
In a chartreuse micro-bus. 

{#Cowboy}
Posted 12 years ago by mrtuba9    [ Reply ]
just plain awful!

Bazooka wrote:
just plain awesome!
 


Posted 12 years ago by skooba    [ Reply ]
10 but yeah I'm sure you had to be there. 3 years since the last play tho. It could stand to get played a bit more than that... maybe once a month forever...
Posted 12 years ago by ScottFromWyoming    [ Reply ]
 cosmiclint wrote:
This one gets me thinking about Winona's big brown beaver
 
I was just thinking this too!  {#High-five}
Posted 12 years ago by JIan    [ Reply ]
..must have a look at my horse.....{#Snooty}
Posted 12 years ago by rockpommel16    [ Reply ]
Woo Hoo!  Go Beat Farmers, Mojo Nixon and Rev. Horton Heat .... "Redneck Rampage".


Posted 12 years ago by Misterfixit    [ Reply ]
namp wrote:
dreadful...!


Yes! And for that I must give it a 7. Man what would Billy Dee Williams say?

Posted 15 years ago by vit    [ Reply ]
Why?
Posted 15 years ago by Beez    [ Reply ]
Yee-haw Country Dick, yee-haw! Santa Cruz fave a couple decades back. {#Devil_pimp}
Posted 15 years ago by lmic    [ Reply ]
This one gets me thinking about Winona's big brown beaver
Posted 15 years ago by cosmiclint    [ Reply ]
 Art_Carnage wrote:
A mediocre novelty song by a mediocre novelty band.
 
Well it's a novelty to me and a pretty funny one too - cheesier than a barrel of aged Gorgonzola. 7 from the Nottingham jury, though I'm sure it could get wearing after too many listens.


Posted 15 years ago by fredriley    [ Reply ]
dreadful...!
Posted 15 years ago by namp    [ Reply ]

Posted 15 years ago by ScottFromWyoming    [ Reply ]
Now that's what I call eclectic.

Posted 15 years ago by Alafia    [ Reply ]
A mediocre novelty song by a mediocre novelty band.
Posted 15 years ago by Art_Carnage    [ Reply ]
 Businessgypsy wrote:
Hey this reminds me - anybody know of a good alt.country station? The two I frequent, twangcity.com and soma's bootliquorFM are pretty mainstream. It's a great genre with some breakthrough work, and I miss the old cable station I had for it when I lived in CA. THANKS!
 
"...good alt.country..." oxymoron?

Posted 15 years ago by Parsimony    [ Reply ]
just plain awesome!
Posted 15 years ago by Bazooka    [ Reply ]
just plain dumb!
Posted 15 years ago by jjbix    [ Reply ]
You know, I had sort of gotten used to my upload of Wynona's Big Brown Beaver being bounced until I heard this.

Wynona is way, way better than this.

I don't get it.

Posted 15 years ago by keller1    [ Reply ]
 njacker wrote:
If you've ever seen them, you'd understand. It's nice to hear a little BF on the RP once in a while!
 
Absolutely!   Or if you've heard a few more cuts, you get it.   Blazin' twangin' pickin' goofiness ... Frank Zappa meets Joe Ely.

Posted 15 years ago by secretsauce    [ Reply ]

I try not to complain about songs being "overplayed," but when it comes to this song OH HELL NO. Twice in a three-month period is way too often.


Posted 15 years ago by rtrudeau    [ Reply ]
I've always loved this tune, haven't heard it in more than ten years.  Thanks, Bill! you continue to amaze me with your eclectic taste.

I'm glad my 9 bumped this from 4.8 up to 4.9!

Posted 15 years ago by kaz    [ Reply ]
 ploba wrote:
Just Horrible.   Bill I bet you play this so that we will appreciate everything else that much more  :)
 
That's about the only purpose this song serves.

Posted 15 years ago by TernaryBit    [ Reply ]
 jjbix wrote:
What a waste of airspace!  With so much good music out there why this Bill, why??
 
You'nz don' got no couth...

Posted 15 years ago by shutter    [ Reply ]
... "I drug 'er upstairs by her lower lip"...
I laughed till I howled...
THANKS for the laugh...  I needed one this morning.
Terrible on the one hand, but a well played guitar on the other.   {#Cowboy}{#Bananajam}{#Dancingbanana_2}
Posted 15 years ago by Taters-papa    [ Reply ]
Horrible? Maybe, but also cheeky and silly. Life could use more silly. I think you have to be in the right mood to appreciate this one. {#Cowboy}
Posted 15 years ago by robco1    [ Reply ]
Exactly!

 njacker wrote:
If you've ever seen them, you'd understand. It's nice to hear a little BF on the RP once in a while!
 


Posted 15 years ago by zogma    [ Reply ]
 jjbix wrote:
What a waste of airspace!  With so much good music out there why this Bill, why??
 
To open your little mind to the wider world of music you may never have heard before and wouldn't ordinarily hear, thus breaking you out of your well padded comfort zone. Are you sure you're in the right place?

Posted 15 years ago by Oscar_the_Grouch    [ Reply ]
Just Horrible.   Bill I bet you play this so that we will appreciate everything else that much more  :)
Posted 15 years ago by ploba    [ Reply ]
If you've ever seen them, you'd understand. It's nice to hear a little BF on the RP once in a while!
Posted 15 years ago by njacker    [ Reply ]
What a waste of airspace!  With so much good music out there why this Bill, why??
Posted 15 years ago by jjbix    [ Reply ]
Goofy, goofy, goofy. Love it.
Posted 15 years ago by cc_rider    [ Reply ]
Somebody doesn't like this song :)

Made me chuckle the moment I heard the riff.
Posted 15 years ago by greyfin10    [ Reply ]
Who are all you people giving this a 7?

I could loan you weapons, too? 

Posted 15 years ago by jhorton    [ Reply ]
OK, you can keep the weapons.

PLEASE! 
Posted 15 years ago by jhorton    [ Reply ]
If I was as bad as these guys, I would blow my brains out, but not until I had a friend promise to shoot me twice after I was dead.

Just to be sure.

If you Beat Farmers are listening, I would be glad to loan you weapons.

 
Posted 15 years ago by jhorton    [ Reply ]
 rtrudeau wrote:
 
This song was pretty funny. I'd like to hear it about once a year.
 
Not nearly as funny as it was HORRIBLE!
Posted 15 years ago by jhorton    [ Reply ]
 Geecheeboy wrote:
Sometimes RP dips swerves into Demento Territory.  I find his voice very amusing.

  
This song was pretty funny. I'd like to hear it about once a year.

Posted 15 years ago by rtrudeau    [ Reply ]
Compared to this, Abba's Fernando played earlier was a welcome breath of fresh air!
Posted 15 years ago by horstman    [ Reply ]
Beat THIS!

Worst bands ever on RP:

1. Beat Farmers
2. Cake
3. That band with the Cambodian woman screaming???

God this is fargin' horrible!!!!!!!!!!!! 
Posted 15 years ago by jhorton    [ Reply ]
Saw them live at a comedy club in San Diego. Most fun I've ever had at a show. There's a  lot of room in rock and roll. Enjoy it for what it is.
Posted 15 years ago by burdell    [ Reply ]
Been a two forever.  Today, I'm hearing the humor louder than the simply odd.  Seven.
Posted 15 years ago by Xeric    [ Reply ]
Hands down one of my top five live bands. They had a sense of humor that is sadly missing in music lately.
Posted 16 years ago by siandbeth    [ Reply ]
Sometimes RP dips swerves into Demento Territory.  I find his voice very amusing.


Posted 16 years ago by Geecheeboy    [ Reply ]
Ah, the Beat Farmers!

Laugh People! It's funny!

{#Lol}
Posted 16 years ago by hippiechick    [ Reply ]
Wow. This is...um... This is pretty bad. And not in a good way.
Posted 16 years ago by mattt    [ Reply ]

I lay down
She undid my boots
She untied my jeans
She untied my tubes I had tied in my teens

Posted 16 years ago by vandal    [ Reply ]
at first i thought this was sleepy labeef but then i realized his voice isn't deep enough.
Posted 16 years ago by daveesh    [ Reply ]
Gimmick music. Leave it to the KTel archives.
Posted 16 years ago by Welly    [ Reply ]
I wish "Bigger Stones" from this album would get played. It's the best song on there.

I need to upload "Little Balls of Yarn" off of Country Dicks rare EP.
What a hoot that one is.
Posted 16 years ago by KurtfromLaQuinta    [ Reply ]
entertaining if you can anything else you're doing on hold and muster enough concentration to catch every word, but overall a bit of an annoying detour in what was an awesome set.
Posted 16 years ago by rjoslyn    [ Reply ]
Geez! Hope I don't have to wait two more years to hear this again!
Posted 16 years ago by laozilover    [ Reply ]
Imkirok wrote:
Hilarious! Where else could you hear this stuff? Keep it coming, Bill!
There is a point when satire becomes too close to the thing satirized. I think that such is the case with this group--I can't stand them, funny or not.
Posted 18 years ago by Govi    [ Reply ]
umm...not so much. good follow up to "boy named sue"-but...a whee bit too early in the morning.
Posted 18 years ago by TobiMc3    [ Reply ]
This song deserves a mention here. (click here)
Posted 18 years ago by mojoman    [ Reply ]
This just followed "A Boy Named Sue" by Johnny Cash. This could almost be "A Boy Named Sue" by Johnny Cash.
Posted 18 years ago by TKTuttle    [ Reply ]
Hilarious! Where else could you hear this stuff? Keep it coming, Bill!
Posted 18 years ago by Imkirok    [ Reply ]
You know what I hate WORST about both this and "Happy Boy"? It's the fact that I sort of like 'em. Ghaaaa!
Posted 19 years ago by Xeric    [ Reply ]
I like this song because it seems like one of those silly old western songs but it's just a bit more graphic.
Posted 19 years ago by Antifascist    [ Reply ]
billery wrote:
So sad some of your chamomile-tea drinking fuckers don't get the humor. Just go back to crocheting your macrame jockstraps and don't mind this track, mmmm-kay??!?!?!??
chamomile-tea drinking fuckers!!! Now thats funny!! I dont care who you are!! Keep comments like this going! I love opinionated comments!
Posted 19 years ago by bajafisher    [ Reply ]
billery wrote:
So sad some of your chamomile-tea drinking fuckers don't get the humor. Just go back to crocheting your macrame jockstraps and don't mind this track, mmmm-kay??!?!?!??
Hey Hey! we don't need to get all insulting about it! Everyone's entitled to their own opinion. I should know, I'm opinionated myself.
Posted 19 years ago by smilestoomuch    [ Reply ]
Great good morning song!
Posted 19 years ago by fireguy    [ Reply ]
Just a fun tune, keep them coming Bill
Posted 19 years ago by billyboy0205    [ Reply ]
So sad some of your chamomile-tea drinking fuckers don't get the humor. Just go back to crocheting your macrame jockstraps and don't mind this track, mmmm-kay??!?!?!??
Posted 20 years ago by billery    [ Reply ]
WIth all due respect to the dearly departed wild man who gave this band its "personality", I'd have prefered he left the songwriting and singing to the others (excepting Happy Boy of course). Love the band - just not this song.
Posted 20 years ago by TheBob    [ Reply ]
Art_Carnage wrote:
I novelty songs go, I wish this one would.
This song was funny 20 years ago right? Is there any real need to play it any more? Please file it next to: "Monster Mash".
Posted 20 years ago by otismyman    [ Reply ]
joe1 wrote:
FUN? I'd rather pluck my toenails out with pliers..
agreed. This is bad. The headphones have come off. Ick. Not fun. Bad.
Posted 20 years ago by Angloray    [ Reply ]
joe1 wrote:
So you liked it, Spasso?.....
Yes
Posted 20 years ago by spassmo    [ Reply ]
I novelty songs go, I wish this one would.
Posted 20 years ago by Art_Carnage    [ Reply ]
joe1 wrote:
Just WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS????? For feck sake Bill?...WTF is going on here? OK..I thought this station was OK...I think FECKING differently now..... BOLLOCKS!!!
e·clec·tic (-kl ktk) adj. 1. Selecting or employing individual elements from a variety of sources, systems, or styles: an eclectic taste in music; an eclectic approach to managing the economy.
Posted 20 years ago by spassmo    [ Reply ]
I gave him his two bits and I pumped him full 'o lead!
Posted 20 years ago by MrSpaz    [ Reply ]
joe1 wrote:
Just WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS????? For feck sake Bill?...WTF is going on here? OK..I thought this station was OK...I think FECKING differently now..... BOLLOCKS!!!
lighten up you limey git - it's fun!
Posted 20 years ago by Red_Dragon    [ Reply ]
byer--lower lip!
Posted 20 years ago by Gregorama    [ Reply ]
Businessgypsy wrote:
Hey this reminds me - anybody know of a good alt.country station? The two I frequent, twangcity.com and soma's bootliquorFM are pretty mainstream. It's a great genre with some breakthrough work, and I miss the old cable station I had for it when I lived in CA. THANKS!
Didn't you just write the exact same thing on another song? I could be imagining it and going round the twist. -Adrian
Posted 20 years ago by stubbsz    [ Reply ]
Geek rock.
Posted 20 years ago by mig7    [ Reply ]
Hey this reminds me - anybody know of a good alt.country station? The two I frequent, twangcity.com and soma's bootliquorFM are pretty mainstream. It's a great genre with some breakthrough work, and I miss the old cable station I had for it when I lived in CA. THANKS!
Posted 20 years ago by Businessgypsy    [ Reply ]
Saw them at college days back at CSU many years ago. Great show! This brings back some fun memories.
Posted 20 years ago by noladq    [ Reply ]
Was this played on KFAT? Maybe not old enough?
Posted 20 years ago by redeyespy    [ Reply ]
God Bless Country Dick...
Posted 20 years ago by beckdog    [ Reply ]
i'm laughin'
Posted 20 years ago by Red_Dragon    [ Reply ]
What a great song! Would like to hear Happy Boy as well.
Posted 20 years ago by Lycophrog    [ Reply ]
Weren't these the guys who did the soundtrack to "Redneck Rampage" ?
Posted 20 years ago by isujimmy78    [ Reply ]
RIP County Dick Montana. He was a Happy Boy!
Posted 20 years ago by Gregorama    [ Reply ]
I paid him two bits then I pumped him fulla lead! Long live Country Dick!
Posted 20 years ago by ScottFromWyoming    [ Reply ]