Stars — Your Ex-Lover is Dead
Album: Set Yourself on FireAvg rating:
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Total ratings: 1699
Length: 4:14
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God, that was strange to see you again
Introduced by a friend of a friend
Smiled and said, "Yes, I think we've met before"
In that instant it started to pour
Captured a taxi despite all the rain
We drove in silence across Pont Champlain
And all of that time you thought I was sad
I was trying to remember your name
This scar is a fleck on my porcelain skin
You tried to reach deep but you couldn't get in
And now you're outside me, you see all the beauty
Repent all your sin
Nothing but time and a face that you'll lose
I chose to feel it and you couldn't choose
I'll write you a postcard, I'll send you the news
From the house down the road from real love
Live through this and you won't look back
Live through this and you won't look back
Live through this and you won't look back
There's one thing I have to say so I'll be brave
You were what I wanted
I gave what I gave
I'm not sorry I met you
I'm not sorry it's over
I'm not sorry there's nothing to save
I'm not sorry there's nothing to save
Introduced by a friend of a friend
Smiled and said, "Yes, I think we've met before"
In that instant it started to pour
Captured a taxi despite all the rain
We drove in silence across Pont Champlain
And all of that time you thought I was sad
I was trying to remember your name
This scar is a fleck on my porcelain skin
You tried to reach deep but you couldn't get in
And now you're outside me, you see all the beauty
Repent all your sin
Nothing but time and a face that you'll lose
I chose to feel it and you couldn't choose
I'll write you a postcard, I'll send you the news
From the house down the road from real love
Live through this and you won't look back
Live through this and you won't look back
Live through this and you won't look back
There's one thing I have to say so I'll be brave
You were what I wanted
I gave what I gave
I'm not sorry I met you
I'm not sorry it's over
I'm not sorry there's nothing to save
I'm not sorry there's nothing to save
Comments (193)add comment
timmus wrote:
i hear that as well.
**EDIT - one day later (8/4/23) still hearing it. like it, but if this gets played daily, it's going to lose it's appeal...
Is the volume going up and down during the louder vocals? I can hear it happening about 2 or 3 times a second. Not sure if that's the player or if they're doing something weird with the gain.
i hear that as well.
**EDIT - one day later (8/4/23) still hearing it. like it, but if this gets played daily, it's going to lose it's appeal...
Is the volume going up and down during the louder vocals? I can hear it happening about 2 or 3 times a second. Not sure if that's the player or if they're doing something weird with the gain.
nlarsen1 wrote:
And this whole time, I thought it was "I'm sorry, there's nothing to SAY." Which maybe evokes a similar feeling.
What a masterpiece.
I ALSO thought those were the lyrics for years. Hits just as hard but a little differently either way.
And this whole time, I thought it was "I'm sorry, there's nothing to SAY." Which maybe evokes a similar feeling.
What a masterpiece.
I ALSO thought those were the lyrics for years. Hits just as hard but a little differently either way.
I tried to reach deep once...and she couldn't let me in...scars are tougher than one can imagine, especially for those that have been the victims of the most awful thing that a man, or rather a boy in high school, can do to teenage woman...that shit is always there just below the surface...but she hid it well when we met, so I had no idea what was to come...
This song always reminds me of her and I and the twist of emotions that whole relationship created...the sobbing phone call that she made at the end...drunk almost to the point of oblivion, admitting in a whisper that she did love me, no matter what she had said and the anger pretended and projected in the moment when her fear of facing her emotions and her unspeakable history became too great to endure...
One day, I'd like to be able to show that coward what it feels like to live a life covered in shame and fear...I hope that she recovered somehow. I hope she was able to calm that primal fear. That she was able to put down the bottle that was her crutch. The same bottle that ensured that the life that flickered in her for a week or two or six would never do anything except break us...
I hope that she managed to let someone reach deep...
This song always reminds me of her and I and the twist of emotions that whole relationship created...the sobbing phone call that she made at the end...drunk almost to the point of oblivion, admitting in a whisper that she did love me, no matter what she had said and the anger pretended and projected in the moment when her fear of facing her emotions and her unspeakable history became too great to endure...
One day, I'd like to be able to show that coward what it feels like to live a life covered in shame and fear...I hope that she recovered somehow. I hope she was able to calm that primal fear. That she was able to put down the bottle that was her crutch. The same bottle that ensured that the life that flickered in her for a week or two or six would never do anything except break us...
I hope that she managed to let someone reach deep...
Another one in the bucket of day stopping songs. When your debut album starts with this masterpiece, you know you've got something going for you.
Memories of pre-kids, first marriage, following relationships, life changes, all in a song.
I'm not sorry there's nothing to save, I'm not sorry. There's nothing to save.
That last line. Ooof. <3
Memories of pre-kids, first marriage, following relationships, life changes, all in a song.
I'm not sorry there's nothing to save, I'm not sorry. There's nothing to save.
That last line. Ooof. <3
unclehud wrote:
It's bad news.
You were married, yes? So there must have been something there at the beginning. As the last lines of this song capture eloquently, "I'm sorry there's nothing to save."
And this whole time, I thought it was "I'm sorry, there's nothing to SAY." Which maybe evokes a similar feeling.
What a masterpiece.
It's bad news.
You were married, yes? So there must have been something there at the beginning. As the last lines of this song capture eloquently, "I'm sorry there's nothing to save."
And this whole time, I thought it was "I'm sorry, there's nothing to SAY." Which maybe evokes a similar feeling.
What a masterpiece.
Beautiful song, quite a masterpiece. And a great album, too.
IMO, Amy should do all of the lead vocals for this band
love her voice. love this song.
metod wrote:
I agree!
So proud to be a Montrealer...so proud of the music created in this parts of the world.
I agree!
ShaunJ wrote:
Depends on whether or not you can make a case for self-defence. Apparently.
Question: if your ex-lover is dead, is that good or bad news?
Depends on whether or not you can make a case for self-defence. Apparently.
ShaunJ wrote:
Question: if your ex-lover is dead, is that good or bad news?
I guess it's better than having a present-day lover who is dead...well, unless you're into that kind of stuff.
Question: if your ex-lover is dead, is that good or bad news?
I guess it's better than having a present-day lover who is dead...well, unless you're into that kind of stuff.
ShaunJ wrote:
It's bad news.
You were lovers, yes? So there must have been something there at the beginning. As the last lines of this song capture eloquently, "I'm sorry there's nothing to save."
Question: if your ex-lover is dead, is that good or bad news?
It's bad news.
You were lovers, yes? So there must have been something there at the beginning. As the last lines of this song capture eloquently, "I'm sorry there's nothing to save."
"When there is nothing left to burn, you have to set yourself on fire."https://goo.gl/VC2BvR
.
.
.
.
.
.
or, bags of firewood are only a fiver......... in fact, Im turning in, tomorrows another day, at least for me.
goodnight and enjoy your self emoliation, .... keep the noise down would you?!
The Loneliest Monk is Thelonious Monk. It's the fate.I think.
I'm afraid I can't say my ex, she knew or planned what next.
very nice. Never heard before.
robco1 wrote:
Jeff Buckley wrote "Lover You Should Have Come Over" about his breakup with his girlfriend. I went to a memorial concert ten years after his death and one of the performers covered the song. I did okay until the bridge, and on the verse "It's never over / A kingdom for a kiss upon her shoulder..." the guy in front of me collapsed in grief. Within seconds it was painfully clear for whom the central metaphor of the song was no metaphor.
A song is what you bring to it. Great ones touch us and make us examine who we are and what we feel. As this one has done for me today.
Thanks for that
Jeff Buckley wrote "Lover You Should Have Come Over" about his breakup with his girlfriend. I went to a memorial concert ten years after his death and one of the performers covered the song. I did okay until the bridge, and on the verse "It's never over / A kingdom for a kiss upon her shoulder..." the guy in front of me collapsed in grief. Within seconds it was painfully clear for whom the central metaphor of the song was no metaphor.
A song is what you bring to it. Great ones touch us and make us examine who we are and what we feel. As this one has done for me today.
Thanks for that
ShaunJ wrote:
Question: if your ex-lover is dead, is that good or bad news?
Memories of a previous life rush in; meeting an old friend from the past.
Recollection; a reliving. Reflection, contemplation.
Good memories, even though it may have ended badly. Thankful for the experience, the connection. Sad the connection is no more, but it was worthwhile.
OK, so its not just the song talking...
Question: if your ex-lover is dead, is that good or bad news?
Memories of a previous life rush in; meeting an old friend from the past.
Recollection; a reliving. Reflection, contemplation.
Good memories, even though it may have ended badly. Thankful for the experience, the connection. Sad the connection is no more, but it was worthwhile.
OK, so its not just the song talking...
Interesting!
coloradojohn wrote:
Question: if your ex-lover is dead, is that good or bad news?
As Faulkner said, "The Past is not dead — in fact, it's not even past." The haunting, Quantum-Entangled drama in this song cuts deep!
Question: if your ex-lover is dead, is that good or bad news?
As Faulkner said, "The Past is not dead — in fact, it's not even past." The haunting, Quantum-Entangled drama in this song cuts deep!
I never thought of that; setting myself on fire. Hmmm.
Probably the best thing ever to emerge from the lil Indies. Some kind of masterpiece.
So proud to be a Montrealer...so proud of the music created in this parts of the world.
fredriley wrote:
dogpound wrote:
Only by 1 year..... I agree with Fred — this band should be lumped in with Decemberists. I hit the PSD button when either of them are played!
Are this lot The Decembrists in disguise?
dogpound wrote:
predate them.
Only by 1 year..... I agree with Fred — this band should be lumped in with Decemberists. I hit the PSD button when either of them are played!
such a weird/great song title.
bigcat wrote:
This set is so depressing, I may have to go watch golf. Or soccer
fredriley wrote:
predate them.
Are this lot The Decembrists in disguise?
predate them.
I can understand why some people might have a strong emotional connection to it. I find it just a little too precious, and pretentious.
Your mileage, of course, may vary.
Your mileage, of course, may vary.
Are this lot The Decembrists in disguise?
LOL I wish hahahahaha
robco1 wrote:
Well written. Bravo!
A song is what you bring to it. Great ones touch us and make us examine who we are and what we feel. As this one has done for me today.
Well written. Bravo!
love the intro to this - sounds like Orson Wells.
bigcat wrote:
Wow.
Uplifting.
This set is so depressing, I may have to go watch golf. Or soccer
Wow.
Uplifting.
This set is so depressing, I may have to go watch golf. Or soccer
thewiseking wrote:
Jeff Buckley wrote "Lover You Should Have Come Over" about his breakup with his girlfriend. I went to a memorial concert ten years after his death and one of the performers covered the song. I did okay until the bridge, and on the verse "It's never over / A kingdom for a kiss upon her shoulder..." the guy in front of me collapsed in grief. Within seconds it was painfully clear for whom the central metaphor of the song was no metaphor.
A song is what you bring to it. Great ones touch us and make us examine who we are and what we feel. As this one has done for me today.
um, sorry, this one is not about death in any literal sense
Jeff Buckley wrote "Lover You Should Have Come Over" about his breakup with his girlfriend. I went to a memorial concert ten years after his death and one of the performers covered the song. I did okay until the bridge, and on the verse "It's never over / A kingdom for a kiss upon her shoulder..." the guy in front of me collapsed in grief. Within seconds it was painfully clear for whom the central metaphor of the song was no metaphor.
A song is what you bring to it. Great ones touch us and make us examine who we are and what we feel. As this one has done for me today.
thewiseking wrote:
Oh, great. The next song is Jeff Buckley's Last Goodbye.
Both beautiful, but I picked a bad week to give up ether.
um, sorry, this one is not about death in any literal sense
doesn't need to be - the total nothingness regarding a person once granted entrance to the sanctum sanctorum is joltingly depressing. Oh, great. The next song is Jeff Buckley's Last Goodbye.
Both beautiful, but I picked a bad week to give up ether.
more stars!
um, sorry, this one is not about death in any literal sense
element1 wrote:
I was just wondering the same thing!
I really like this song, but I feel like it needs a good refrain. It's a lot of verse and no hook.
I was just wondering the same thing!
Okay, this is one of my favourite songs ever. It takes me back to roadtrips I took in the summer of 2007.
I'm so happy that RP has picked it up! Yay for Canadian Content.
I'm so happy that RP has picked it up! Yay for Canadian Content.
Another great Radio Paradise song used to wonderful effect on "So You Think You Can Dance"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FhXtietJZr4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FhXtietJZr4
musicology wrote:
Yes, another great example of what is "special" about RP!
love this tune
Yes, another great example of what is "special" about RP!
love this tune
II really like this track. Does anyone know if the whole CD is this strong?
I really like this song, but I feel like it needs a good refrain. It's a lot of verse and no hook.
TernaryBit wrote:
Don't mention Death, I mentioned it once but I think I got away with it.
he's doing it again!! STOP the death!
Don't mention Death, I mentioned it once but I think I got away with it. anniebear wrote:
he's doing it again!! STOP the death!
Man fcuk this set Bill, enough death.
he's doing it again!! STOP the death!
Beautiful and artfully done. Really captures the end of a hopeless relationship; the sadness, the yearning, the hopes and dreams debased.
Man fcuk this set Bill, enough death.
Define eclectic:
10:31 am Stars
Your Ex-Lover is Dead
10:26 am Jim Carroll Band
People Who Died
10:21 am Butthole Surfers
Pepper Electric
10:16 am Pearl Jam
Nothing As It Seems
Has to be one of my favourite sets ever, just because it's so out there. Awesome, Bill.
10:31 am Stars
Your Ex-Lover is Dead
10:26 am Jim Carroll Band
People Who Died
10:21 am Butthole Surfers
Pepper Electric
10:16 am Pearl Jam
Nothing As It Seems
Has to be one of my favourite sets ever, just because it's so out there. Awesome, Bill.
Please play "Reunion". Or "The Aspidistra Flies". Yum.
Live through this
and you won't look back . . .
Fat chance.
and you won't look back . . .
Fat chance.
gabbadar wrote:
That one was priceless!! LOL!
Please excuse me while I OD on pills, everyone.
Playlist:
Stars - Your Ex-Lover is Dead
Oingo Boingo - Dead Man's Party
Jim Carroll Band - People Who Died
Butthole Surfers - Pepper
That one was priceless!! LOL!
Please excuse me while I OD on pills, everyone.
Playlist:
Stars - Your Ex-Lover is Dead
Oingo Boingo - Dead Man's Party
Jim Carroll Band - People Who Died
Butthole Surfers - Pepper
Love the Friday morning death theme
The_Enemy wrote:
How am I to know you aren't just being a contrarian, Enemy?
Actually, I've got the opposite reaction. I love the quote. The song is meh.
How am I to know you aren't just being a contrarian, Enemy?
I just love that spoken intro....
wow, those lyrics hit me. Maybe it was the Jim Carroll Band "People Who Died" warmup, but damn...
Wow.
"Live through this and you won't look back?" Fat chance.
"Live through this and you won't look back?" Fat chance.
auburntigerrich wrote: Cool to hear Stars on RP - not my favorite track, but still eclectic. = )
I DISCOVERED THEM ON THE FILM QUIET CAOS FROM NANNI MORETTI... REALLY INTERESTING THE SCENE CHOOSEN
jenakle wrote:
winter wrote:
That opening bit about "set yourself on fire" sounds like a line from a movie - anyone know if it is?
It's the father of one of the band's members.
Amy Millan: Yeah, so it's just these things that we wing. It actually happened in mastering, but it had been an idea that Torquil had had for sometime, to have his father on the record in some capacity. I called him in Vancouver and was like, "We need your dad," and he was like, "Yeah, we do. Okay, call him up. He's having his eggs right now." (Laughter)
Amy Millan: "Get him to say 'When there's nothing left to burn, set yourself on fire.'"
https://www.splendidmagazine.com/features/stars/
ITHOUGHT IT WAS A PHRASE FROM ORSOSN WELLES ISN'T?
greenighs wrote:
Wow, Torquil's dad is James Earl Jones?
ITS SOUNDS LIKE ORSON WELLES FINAL WORDS : REMEMBER ROSEBUD...
yeah! Thanks for playing an awesome band like Stars on RP!!! 
papaman wrote:
I say that if you write a song claiming your ex-lover is dead then your ex-lover is not dead.
Wonderful point of existentialism, Papaman. Sartre wrote about the experience of being in the presence of an absence.
jenakle wrote:Wow, Torquil's dad is James Earl Jones?
winter wrote:
That opening bit about "set yourself on fire" sounds like a line from a movie - anyone know if it is?
It's the father of one of the band's members.
Amy Millan: Yeah, so it's just these things that we wing. It actually happened in mastering, but it had been an idea that Torquil had had for sometime, to have his father on the record in some capacity. I called him in Vancouver and was like, "We need your dad," and he was like, "Yeah, we do. Okay, call him up. He's having his eggs right now." (Laughter)
Amy Millan: "Get him to say 'When there's nothing left to burn, set yourself on fire.'"
https://www.splendidmagazine.com/features/stars/
Reversed again for March. When a formula works use it.
tompoll wrote:
Odd... Same song list as in August, just reversed order.
Ouch.
canadave wrote:
Anyone know what the sampled line from the beginning is?
winter wrote:
That opening bit about "set yourself on fire" sounds like a line from a movie - anyone know if it is?
It's the father of one of the band's members.
Amy Millan: Yeah, so it's just these things that we wing. It actually happened in mastering, but it had been an idea that Torquil had had for sometime, to have his father on the record in some capacity. I called him in Vancouver and was like, "We need your dad," and he was like, "Yeah, we do. Okay, call him up. He's having his eggs right now." (Laughter)
Amy Millan: "Get him to say 'When there's nothing left to burn, set yourself on fire.'"
https://www.splendidmagazine.com/features/stars/
such a sad song :( ...a tale wonderfully told.
This album is simply awesome.
Jamunca wrote:
Jim Carroll Band - People Who Died
Oingo Boingo - Dead Man's Party
Stars - Your Ex-Lover is Dead
...does someone need a hug? Bill?
Odd... Same song list as in August, just reversed order.
ziggytrix wrote:
meh, i think that ridiculous little bit (the quote at the begining) tarnishes an otherwise gorgeous song.
Actually, I've got the opposite reaction. I love the quote. The song is meh.
davyjrshort wrote:
That's such a great little quote at the start.
and a nice song too
meh, i think that ridiculous little bit tarnishes an otherwise gorgeous song.
It's cool that Neanderthals can still get work playing drums in a rock band.
Can we get some more Stars on RP? I have been trying to upload some of the new album but the upload app says the files aren't mp3s (which they are)...
I say that if you write a song claiming your ex-lover is dead then you're ex-lover is not dead.
coloradojohn wrote:
Man, that would be AWESOME! Hell, yeah! Bill, you reading this? Some things just fall into your lap, and you gotta grab 'em!
Or maybe Human League's "Don't You Want Me"
Gonna see these guys in November. Can't wait.
canadave wrote:
Anyone know what the sampled line from the beginning is?
You mean the spoken part? Backscroll and you will see: It's the father of one of the performers....
Damn. This just hit me like a brick wall. Amazing how music can affect your mood...
davyjrshort wrote:
That's such a great little quote at the start.
and a nice song too
Every time I hear that quote, I'm expecting something like...Rob Zombie. Yes, this is a nice song, but the transition is a bit odd.
QualityPie wrote:
I like this much more than I understand why I do.
It's just . . . RIGHT.
I love your logic :)
That's such a great little quote at the start.
and a nice song too
top notch, check out the live version on fabchannel
Jim Carroll Band - People Who Died
Oingo Boingo - Dead Man's Party
Stars - Your Ex-Lover is Dead
...does someone need a hug? Bill?
QualityPie wrote:
I like this much more than I understand why I do.
It's just . . . RIGHT.
I agree.
Anyone know what the sampled line from the beginning is?
wondertoofar wrote:
"When there's nothing left to burn" Find a Buddhist!
As a Buddhist I actually find this amusing. Not the funniest thing on this forum. Let's see. Second funniest.
wondertoofar wrote:
"When there's nothing left to burn" Find a Buddhist!
ass
mikedill wrote:
My girlfriend is absolutely in love with this song. Thanks for the introduction RP.
RP introduced you to your girlfriend?
My girlfriend is absolutely in love with this song. Thanks for the introduction RP.
QualityPie wrote:
I like this much more than I understand why I do.
It's just . . . RIGHT.
I feel just the opposite.
I like this much more than I understand why I do.
It's just . . . RIGHT.
saw Amy Millan a couple of times over the summer at festivals. Solo (with a back up band) she is pretty under whelming. Stars suits her vocal style much better (I think). Alone with a guitar she is worth listening to.
Captain_D0D00 wrote:
I wonder if this is inappropriate too: I was looking forward to hearing this followed by Meatloaf's "Paradise By The Dashboard Light" to keep the angry lover duet theme going.
Man, that would be AWESOME! Hell, yeah! Bill, you reading this? Some things just fall into your lap, and you gotta grab 'em!
ryuujin23 wrote:
Give a man fire and he'll be warm for a day, set him on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
pure comedy.
meloman wrote:
You'd think someone your age would know better than to make such inappropriate comments. Not funny!
Wait....that _is_ funny.
tony620d wrote:
when theres nothing left to play... play this song again.. and again.. and again
(apparently, Tony wasn't around so I posted for him)
I love this song... lukewarm on the Stars as a whole. His part is so subtle and polite and she just floors him... and yeah, rebuttal, no thanks dude...
I wonder if this is inappropriate too: I was looking forward to hearing this followed by Meatloaf's "Paradise By The Dashboard Light" to keep the angry lover duet theme going.
wondertoofar wrote:
"When there's nothing left to burn" Find a Buddhist!
You'd think someone your age would know better than to make such inappropriate comments. Not funny!
this band is pretty dull, live, surprisingly. i was disappointed.
very similiar styleto Arcade Fire. Both Bands from French Canada, bands Most Excellent!!
bubble_headed_beach_blond wrote:
i don't know. i'm not sure canada's musical exports have ever really measured up to the old days of The Guess Who.
(HA HA HA HA!!!! sorry, i'm really sorry! you know i'm kidding, right? i'm kidding! i just couldn't let that chance slip past.)
HA HA HA! Bubbly reply! Well, frankly I could add up to your pile, but let's stick to good taste not awakening the haunting canadian ghosts from the past. Ciao
I'm not sorry the song's over, either.
Dior wrote: (HA HA HA HA!!!! sorry, i'm really sorry! you know i'm kidding, right? i'm kidding! i just couldn't let that chance slip past.)
Yest indeed, call it a Planet Alignment or something. And, sorrily most of you guys miss out completely on the thriving french scene, getting Simple Plan instead. Just uploaded an example with Les Breastfeeders (that's right). Vote for it on the LRC. High on the Menu (and future uploads) are : Daniel Belanger, Malajube, Cowboys Fringuants, Les Trois Accords, Lapointe, MiniÚre and many others. Bon appetit.
i don't know. i'm not sure canada's musical exports have ever really measured up to the old days of The Guess Who.
"When there's nothing left to burn" Find a Buddhist!
mikedill wrote:(anyone?)
This song grew on me to the point where I broke down and bought the cd. It's a pretty good disc... there are a few other stand-out tracks.
Hear, hear, have heard some of other good stuff on that disk, more tracks would suit here just fine... me thinks one of the best CDs I ever purchased...and I'm about 3,000 CDs deep. Check out their other CDs too, they are all great
One of the most beautiful songs ever.
hcaudill wrote:
WHEN YOU HAVE NOTHING LEFT TO BURN, YOU MUST SET YOURSELF ON FIRE!!
Give a man fire and he'll be warm for a day, set him on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Still very beautiful, and sad at the same time.
I like this song a bit more each time I hear it. 
tony620d wrote:
when theres nothing left to play... play this song again.. and again.. and again
Darlington wrote:
It's the father of one of the band members. They called him up and he agreed to come into the studio and record the spoken intro.
And it's a great intro it is - really grabs my attention everytime. Cool effects, etc. Would you ignite yourself if there was nothing left to burn?
As for the tune - hate to say it, but it stagnates.
catmaven wrote:
It started out exciting, but then it got so megaboring that I thought it was MOR (radio announcers' jargon).
I have to agree, it really lulls in the middle and loses its heart, and my attention.
This song grew on me to the point where I broke down and bought the cd. It's a pretty good disc... there are a few other stand-out tracks.
I tried to reach deep once...and she couldn't let me in...scars are tougher than one can imagine, especially for those that have been the victims of the most awful thing that a man, or rather a boy in high school, can do to teenage woman...that shit is always there just below the surface...but she hid it well when we met, so I had no idea what was to come...
This song always reminds me of her and I and the twist of emotions that whole relationship created...the sobbing phone call that she made at the end...drunk almost to the point of oblivion, admitting in a whisper that she did love me, no matter what she had said and the anger pretended and projected in the moment when her fear of facing her emotions and her unspeakable history became too great to endure...
One day, I'd like to be able to show that coward what it feels like to live a life covered in shame and fear...I hope that she recovered somehow. I hope she was able to calm that primal fear. That she was able to put down the bottle that was her crutch. The same bottle that ensured that the life that flickered in her for a week or two or six would never do anything except break us...
I hope that she managed to let someone reach deep...
I've been down a similar road in a past relationship, although maybe not as hard and twisted as years. You come to love someone who's been hurt and you accept their scars even when they can't always do the same...and then something changes and that person can't accept that you know their past pain, or can't break up gracefully when their heart's moved on.
I hope your friend has found peace and happiness and that you have too.